I’m going to let you in on a little secret, just because someone says you are lazy, doesn’t mean it’s actually true. Even if it’s your mother!
Are you shocked?
I find that many people suffer from this error of thinking and sadly, it’s often those that are closest to us whose criticisms go unquestioned. Instead we accept it, and repeat it back to ourselves as if it were true. It’s painful when people who are close to us criticize us.
The deeper issue though, is that we define our self worth by what others think of us. Stop and think about that for a moment. If a person praises us, we think we are worthy. If a person criticizes us, we think we are unworthy. From my vantage we have relinquished the control of our self esteem to an outsider. And that’s never a good thing.
How do we conquer this error of thinking?
Stop and ask yourself:
Is the person criticizing you an authority on the topic? (Usually, they aren’t.)
Does this person have all the information? (Usually they don’t.)
Is this person’s criticism constructive or destructive? (Constructive criticism is often situation specific, and is not a generalized assassination of character.)
Finally:
If you are in the moment and experiencing criticism, and can feel your emotions rising, do not respond immediately. Give yourself permission to think about what the critic is saying when your emotions have cooled off.
Remember, just because someone says something about you, it doesn’t mean it’s true.
-Dr. Norton
#GetSunEatCleanBeWell
The post Errors of Thinking- #7 Uncritical Acceptance of the Critic appeared first on Eating Disorder Pro.